A Countable

Once upon a time, when the Web was young, if you wanted to be a cool kid, you absolutely needed two things on your website: a guestbook for people to sign, and a hit counter showing how many people had visited your Geocities page hosting your Star Trek fan fiction.

These days, we don’t see them as often, but companies still like to track the information, especially when it comes to counting downloads. So when Justin started on a new team and saw a download count in their analytics, he didn’t think much of it at all. Nor did he think much about it when he saw the download count displayed on the download page.

Another thing that Justin didn’t think much about was big piles of commits getting merged in overnight, at least not at first. But each morning, Justin needed to pull in a long litany of changes from a user named “MrStinky”. For the first few weeks, Justin was too preoccupied with getting his feet under him, so he didn’t think about it too much.

But eventually, he couldn’t ignore what he saw in the git logs.

docs: update download count to 51741
docs: update download count to 51740
docs: update download count to 51738

And each commit was exactly what the name implied, a diff like:

- 51740
+ 51741

Each time a user clicked the download link, a ping was sent to their analytics system. Throughout the day, the bot “MrStinky” would query the analytics tool, and create new commits that updated the counter. Overnight, it would bundle those commits into a merge request, approve the request, merge the changes, and then redeploy what was at the tip of main.

“But, WHY?” Justin asked his peers.

One of them just shrugged. “It seemed like the easiest and fastest way at the time?”

“I wanted to wire Mr Stinky up to our content management system’s database, but just never got around to it. And this works fine,” said another.

Much like the rest of the team, Justin found that there were bigger issues to tackle.

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